Have you ever been disappointed?

Recently we had a major hail storm hit our area. It damaged our roof, flattened our garden, and destroyed most of our crops. Local farmers said it’s the largest and most damaging late-season hail storm they have ever seen.

What a year to start farming. To see all my hard work get destroyed in less than an hour was very discouraging.

In fact, it hit me harder than I expected. For a few days, I moped around feeling discouraged, confused, and even a bit disillusioned. But most of all I was disappointed.

Disappointed about the circumstances, our insurance coverage, my future, myself, and God.

Proverbs 13:12a MSG says “unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick…”

Have you ever felt like that? 

Maybe you lost your job or having relationship problems. Maybe you are experiencing financial pressure or stressed out. Maybe you lost a loved one or feeling the sting of rejection. Maybe you also had a major hail storm wipe out your crops. Or maybe you feel like you don’t measure up. 

Whatever “it” is—unrelenting disappointment can leave us heartsick.

Disappointment is a complex and uncomfortable feeling. I’ve discovered it usually has layers of emotions like anger, hurt, sadness, even hopelessness, and probably many others too subtle or painful to identify. 

Often disappointment can linger in our hearts and minds. And it tends to bring a very grey perspective on life.

It’s kinda like the common cold of the soul. But this cold can do significant damage if we don’t deal with it. Disappointment can quickly spiral into confusion, disillusionment, bitterness, and complete hopelessness. 

So what do we do? How do we overcome disappointment? Here are 3 steps that have helped me.

Let it Out

If you are like me, I tend to hold emotions in—or ignore them all together. Which isn’t helpful because emotions still come out—usually sideways. 

For me, I can get passive-aggressive, outright angry, or shut down altogether. Remember under disappointment are layers of emotions like anger, sadness, and hurt. If I don’t let these out in healthy ways they surface in unhealthy ways.

I find it helpful to pause and experience the feeling, write it down, and then talk about it with a trusted friend, family member, or spouse. 

That’s right, let’s give ourselves space to feel, write and talk. I think we often try to get back to normal too quickly and in the process, we miss out on being human.

God gave us emotions. They are part of being human. They give us valuable information. Whatever you are feeling is okay. You don’t have to fix it or change it. 

But if we hold it in—it does more harm than good. So let it out.

I usually journal what I’m feeling before I can talk about it. Our thoughts and emotions become untangled when we put pen to paper. There are various ways to journal so find a method that works for you and give it a try.

By the way, God can handle all our emotions. Even the ugly stuff. And He still loves us. In fact, He likes you and me a lot. So go ahead and talk to him about it too. 

Stay on God’s Side

One of the most helpful pieces of advice I’ve ever received is this—when disappointment happens, stay on God’s side.

In other words, don’t blame God. It’s never His fault. It’s so easy to play the blame game because it’s an excellent defense mechanism. But it never works. Blaming always comes back to bite us. 

In this case, it erodes trust. Not God’s trust in us, but our trust in God. And if you think about it, trust (or faith) is the only thing connecting us to an unseen God. I Peter 1:7 says our faith is far more valuable than gold.

It’s by faith we receive salvation, daily connect with God, and access everything in the Kingdom. So above all, guard your heart and protect your faith in God.

Don’t let circumstances, well-meaning people, or the enemy fill your heart with doubt. God is always faithful and He is the only pure constant.

There are many things in this life that don’t make sense. It’s part of the fallen world we live in. Plus there is a real enemy out to kill, steal, and destroy. So when bad things happen, please don’t give God the credit. Scripture is clear that through the person and work of Jesus, God loves us passionately and wants to give us life more abundantly. 

He’s on our side. He is for us, not against us. So stay on His side!

That’s the main lesson to learn from Job. It’s interesting how many different ideas have come out of this book of the Bible. But if you want to zero in on the main idea, check out James 5:11. It’s the only reference to Job in the New Testament.

“As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” James 5:11 NIV

What’s the emphasis? God’s compassion and mercy and Job’s perseverance. 

What’s perseverance? Biblical perseverance is continuing a course of action or belief in the face of obstacles or disappointment.

In other words, Job stayed on God’s side when bad stuff was happening. His wife even said, “curse God and die!” But he wouldn’t do it. To his credit, when he didn’t understand he stayed on God’s side.

So when we don’t understand, stay on God’s side and continue to trust in a God who’s got your back. Our God is full of compassion and mercy.

Get Perspective

Often disappointment leaves us a small picture of what’s going on and we tend to get stuck there. 

For example, if I continue to focus on the hailed crops, it becomes my primary focus. It’s all I see and think about. How are we going to fix this problem? What are we going to do? Anxiety and fear begin to take over. The problem and disappointment begin to orchestrate my life.

But if I shift my focus to Jesus, who He is and what He has done, He gets bigger and the problem gets smaller. My perspective changes.

It’s not like God is small, but often my view of Him is small. When I readjust my attention to Him, I’m able to see the bigger picture.

So much of overcoming life’s disappointments is about perspective. I find the fastest way to get a healthy perspective is through worship and the word. 

The Bible gives us the truth about who God is, who we are, and how things work best. But at the heart of the word is Jesus. Everything points to Him. When we see the real Jesus, worship follows.

Worship means giving worth and value to something. Whatever we give worth to makes it bigger in our lives. This is no small issue because we are ALL giving worth to something ALL the time. 

Why worship the problem when we can worship THE solution? Why worship the various channels of blessing when we can worship THE source of all good things? Why worship the lack when we can worship THE provider? God is THE source, solution, and provider—plus so much more!

He has a thousand different ways to work in our lives and get us what we need. Scripture says every good and perfect gift comes from Him. And His very best is Jesus.

Worship don’t worry, and watch the problem get smaller and God get bigger.

Bonus! How to get an Accurate Perspective

We tend by a secret law of the soul to move toward our mental image of God, so what comes to mind when we think about God, is the most important thing about us.

A.W. Tozer

I love that quote! Because it’s so true. How we view God will shape us.

To get an accurate view of who God is and what He is like, ALWAYS read the Bible through the lens of redemption (the person and work of Jesus). This is key to understanding the Old Testament. 

For example, when Job says “the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away” in Job 1:21, He wasn’t saying that out of revelation, but ignorance.

He didn’t understand what was going on. He didn’t know the enemy was behind the destruction. He had limited revelation and was simply trying to make sense of it all. 

At the end of Job, God comes on the scene in chapter 38 and says “Why do you confuse the issue? Why do you talk without knowing what you’re talking about?” In other words, Job didn’t know what he is talking about!

The whole book of Job is him and his friends trying to figure out what’s going on. What they say is not meant to be theology we build our lives on.

If we believe God gives and takes away—how do we trust? We never see Jesus give and take away. He aways gives!

Again in James 5:11 says that the main thing we are to learn from Job is perseverance and God’s mercy. Stay on God’s side when disappointment happens. 

A hail storm is not God taking away. It’s simply the result of how our fallen world works sometimes.

When I understand that God gives and gives abundantly above all I could ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20) it allows me to relax, trust, and stay on God’s side.

Proverbs 13:12 wraps up by saying “a sudden good break can turn your life around.”

Who is the author of breakthroughs? Who conquered death, hell, and the grave? Who loves us, is for us, and lavishes His goodness on us? Who gave us the greatest gift of all time?

Let’s get perspective by keeping our eyes on the real Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

Prayer: Father we thank you for Jesus. And because You care so much for us, we surrender our cares, worries, and disappointments to You. Thank you for working on our behalf and thank you for Your never ending love. We praise you even when we don’t understand. Give us perspective. Help us see the bigger picture. In Jesus name, amen.

Question: How have you overcome disappointment?